We’re learning to present ourselves as attractive and desirable men.

Maybe you’ve learned some incredible skills and can build attraction out of thin air.  If that attractive person that you’ve learned to project is merely a facade, then the attraction isn’t real.  And when she finds out it isn’t real, the attraction will be gone, and for good reason.  What you’ve been projecting is not genuine.

The way to avoid this is to think big picture.  Have a life that isn’t entirely about pickup (I’ll write more about the distinction between the “pickup you” and the “non-pickup you” in the future; the answer is not what you might think).  Have friends, hobbies, a career.  Have girls in your life that are strictly platonic.  Have something in your life that you’re passionate about.  You don’t have to have every aspect of your life together at the moment, but you need to have a vision for your life and display the qualities necessary to make it believable you’ll be able to achieve that vision.

And do these things not just so you’ll have a lifestyle that’s attractive to women, but so that you’ll be a more complete, more rewarded, more fulfilled person.  The fact that this will bring more women into your life will be a bonus.  Regardless of the type of relationship you want to have, women want to know that the man they’re with is of high value.  Yes, that means even if they’re not interested in a long term relationship, they still want to know they’re with someone who’s worthwhile, genuine, and has their life together.  I’m not speaking theoretically. I’ve talked to enough women to know this is true.  I’ve talked with a number of girls who have walked out on “just sex” arrangements with guys because the guy didn’t have his life together.

How do you know if you’re thinking big picture?  Ask yourself this question.  Can you talk for hours with other PUAs about pickup, but find you run out of things to say in set?  If the answer is yes, then you’re not thinking big picture.  You don’t need more material, you don’t need to work on your “conversation game.”  You need to develop the kind of life that will enrich you with experiences that you can draw upon.  If you genuinely are an interesting and attractive person, then all you’ll need to learn is how to convey that.  And that will make your game much more solid.

~ Magellan

1. Be specific

Write down goals in specific detail so you can clearly see what you plan to attain and how to achieve it. State exactly what you want and how you plan to get the results you seek, such as who can help and what training you may require.

a. What? What do you want to accomplish (short & long term)?
b. Where? Identify locations & venues you will do the activities at. 
c. When? Establish time frames for short & long term goals. What is your target date?
d. Who? Who can help you reach your goals? Do you seek mentorship, expert advice, or wings to help you in field?

2. Measureable

Establish metrics to track your progress. Keep a documented record of your successful steps toward your goals.

a. How many? Do you have a goal of approaching a certain amount of women per day/night/week/month/year?
b. How long? Do you have a goal of spending a specific amount of time meeting women?

3. Tracking

Tracking your successes can help encourage you to keep going and give you solid feedback on our efforts and whether something is working or not. The best strategy for sticking to goals is to keep track of your progress on a daily basis by writing it down every day. This very act of writing down activities/steps taken has been shown to improve results and to encourage consistency. It allows you to learn moree about your habits, stay accountable to yourself, and keep track of any progress or slips.

A good record includes the following:

a. Type of activities.
b. How long you spent performing those activities.
c. Intensity of the effort. Did you push your own boundaries or did you play it safe?
d. Comments about any difficulties to help you in problem solving for the future.

4. Practicality

Are the goals reasonable and achievable in the time allotted?

5. Staying on track

Maintaining progress is one of the hardest challenges when trying to make changes to your life, whether it be changing a habit, fitness, or improving your communication skills. Getting started can be diffidcult, but staying committed is even harder. The key to successfully navigating obstacles to maintaing your progress is to acknowledge slips will happen despite your best efforts to plan for them. The key is to build consistencies and a regular schedule and to get back on that horse as soon as you get thrown off. There are several things you can do to help stay on target:

a. Keep it meaningful! Continue to remind yourself of the personal benefits you’ll get when you achieve your goals. Setting and keeping meaningful goals that are realistic and attainable will increase the likeliness of success. You are much more likely to strive towards a goal you care about and feel close to accomplishing.

b. Reward yourself! Rewards increase the likelihood that you will do it again. When you reach a metric give yourself a reward. Create rewards for both short-term and long-term goals.

c. The earlier you catch slips the better. If caught early a slip does NOT have to signal an inevitable downward spiral. Again, slips are inevitable and accepting that and moving on when they happen is the best course of action. The most important thing to do when slips occur is to not let it turn into a string of slips or affect your new habits and collapse your changes in behavior you’ve been working towards.

d. Have a plan for dealing with slip ups.

-Nutz

It’s hard to lead if you don’t know where you’re going. Yes, it’s very important to be micro-focused and in the moment, but always be aware of the big picture before the night slips away. So if you need to move her from the venue to your place, seed the ASD in advance. And if at all possible, have her meet at your place first with minimal kino and drinks to establish comfort/familiarity, making it far easier to pull her later in the evening. If already at your place, know how you’re going to fractionate and escalate. Perhaps you’ll start off by exciting her w/a game of pool. Kino escalate w/some dancing. Then cuddle together w/a movie, under a blanket, and maybe on the floor or bed. From there, it’s usually very “on”. Add a sensual massage, if needed. Figure out your best closing move and build toward it during the course of the evening. BUT constantly calibrate and always be ready to change direction on the fly.

Hopefully you’re working multiple targets, so get a monthly calendar and start slotting them in. Momentum is critical, and you should try keeping each girl in play every 3-4 days. Some take longer to warm up than others. So understand that one strategy doesn’t fit all. And customize accordingly. Put it all in pencil with plans B and C at the ready in case of flakeage. If a google calendar or something similar works better for you, then use that instead. But make this a daily tool in your PUA kit. Although I’m guilty of not following up as often as I should, you can add reminders for which targets need prodding and when. That will help keep any from falling through the cracks while preventing you from pinging them more often than you’ve realized.

Again, calibrate your approach by target. Some chicks are SNL material. Others take more time. And sometimes you’ll misread them altogether. So flexibility is crucial. For the most part, anticipate in advance how many steps (i.e. dates or meetings) it’s going to take for the f-close, specific to each woman. I’ve never given much weight to the whole “7 hrs. rule”. Some need more and others need much less. Making an analogy to golf, a hole in one is rare. So you drive for the green and anything else is a bonus. Having achievable expectations and goals leads to much less frustration.

Most important of all, just enjoy your time together since that’s the entire point to all of this. But know in advance that one chick may be closeable with three steps, another one could take four and perhaps as many as five or six for another. Always be mindful of your time, and if a particular woman doesn’t seem like a worthwhile return on investment, know when to cut and run. Based on this kind of analysis, you can set the types of dates accordingly, realizing that a lot more comfort may be needed prior to the pull with one target vs. another. Accelerate as necessary, based on real-time feedback, but start with a plan. For some, dinner and a movie at your place or hers can be done on the D1 or D2. In other cases, you should save it for later, bringing her along more slowly.

Likewise, know your escalation goals ahead of time. With some, an SNL is realistically attainable a lot earlier than with others. So tie-in what you hope to achieve escalation-wise with your selection of venue and activity. Don’t forget these are minimal goals, so if it’s moving faster than expected, just calibrate and go. And when you do close her, be unselfish, take your time and make it memorable. That’s a whole different topic for a whole different post, but give her multiples, make her addicted to you, and she will stick around.

-KidMidas

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