As I promised last month, now I want to go from the process of meet to close comparing the natural who knows how to express himself and be himself versus the chode.

Opening

The natural sees a beautiful woman. He wants to talk to her and feels that attraction. Because this is what he desires to do, he does it. It is being himself. It is a form of expression.

The chode sees her and immediately approach anxiety hits. He is not being himself. He wants to talk to her but his limiting beliefs and society have programmed him to not talk to her. He is society’s robot and will not talk to her.

Mid Game

The natural talks to a woman about everything. He has no filter. He talks about sex, relationships, and other stuff that is considered taboo. This is because these are the topics that he wants to talk about and that is how he expresses himself. He tells her why he likes her – not as a tactic of qualification but because he is being genuine and sincere. He is in a state of mind of flow. Everything just comes out naturally.

The chode is in his head. He is thinking what he should say next. This is not being himself.

Emotional Connection

The natural builds an emotional connection because he is genuinely interested in the girl. He is being himself. He wants to know more about the girl. There are no routines. There are no tactics. He loves that feeling of getting close to the girl. And if he does not feel that emotional connection then he does not chase it. He does not try to build a fake emotional connection so that he can sleep with the girl. He just has fun with the girl (attraction) and being with her happens naturally anyways.

Closing Game

Being yourself is closing. How? Because you want to close. It is being you to close. You love sex. You want to be with the girl so you close. You are not scared of the rejection. You put yourself out there because that is you.

Am I myself? Not always. But I am better at expressing who I am to women at least than probably 95% of people out there. I still get in my head often. I still have approach anxiety occasionally. I still get scared to be the leader and actually go for the close. The thing is you do not have to achieve perfection. You just have to do it better than the other guys out there and you have to do it just good enough to get the girl.

Another thing is I tell people that if they see me out there they won’t be impressed. This one very highly regarded instructor PUA once told me after he watched me for a whole day, “to say the least, after reading all those reports, I wasn’t impressed.” Think about it. Can you find the paradox in that statement? I do not say anything that is impressive at all. I’m just myself. I’m a normal dude that expresses his desires. That is where I get the closing mentality from. I desire to be with a girl and that is me, so when it comes time for it I am going to voice it. I don’t use any impressive routines or anything. But that is why I get it. Because my game is not impressive. It is me.

So the next time someone tells you “just be yourself,” don’t write it off as something that is weak. Really think about it beyond the surface level meaning. It’s true.

Enjoy,

PrettyBoy

Be Yourself – the oldest cliché in regards to success with women. You ask anyone who is non-community for advice and the most common response you will receive is:  just be yourself.

I have come a long way. And in the beginning after reading The Game I thought this is nonsense. I need to create this new persona. Forget being yourself.

Wrong. Completely wrong. Instead of creating a new you, you need to destroy and shatter the limiting beliefs that have prevented you from being yourself all of your life.

The problem is that a chode is not himself. He really is not. It is harder to be yourself than most people think. Being yourself does not mean doing the same things that you are doing when you are a chode. Heck no! That is why you are not getting the girl. Think about it, the chode is always in his head, attempts to impress girls, and is terrified to lead. These things are not himself.

Let’s first discuss impression versus expression. This is a concept I first saw Alex from RSD write about. If you are attempting to impress a girl you are definitely not yourself. You are trying to create an image that is not you in order for the girl to like you. On the other side, if you are coming from a frame of self-expression, you are yourself. You are you. You do things because that is the way you feel and you are not seeking a reaction. It is you on the purest level. That is why you can buy a girl a drink and not lose value as long as it is coming from that frame of expression.

You do not buy the girl a drink because you want to impress her so you can sleep with her. You buy if for her because that is who you are and what you felt like doing.

Society does not want you to be yourself. They are constantly imposing different rules on you and telling you what is socially acceptable and socially unacceptable. If I did things that were socially acceptable I would still be a chode. Drinking, partying, persisting on the close, walking up to random girls and telling them you want to be with them within a couple of minutes of meeting them, and the community. Are these socially acceptable? I bet you most people would be appalled if they saw any item from that list. But that is me. That is what I enjoy doing. The Heck with the ridiculous rules. That is me on the purest level.

The way it works is like this. You are born. You are you. Then you grow up and people start having an influence on you. Some of the influence is good but a lot of it is negative. A lot of this influence is other people creating limiting beliefs and telling you what you can and cannot do. They tell you that you have to make a good impression. Think about that one. There is something inherently wrong that goes against being yourself with making a good impression. So time goes on and little by little your true self gets covered up and you become terrified of expressing those real desires and urges because of society. You become another case and fall into the majority of the population who does not even enjoy being with their wife. How sad is that? You are a hybrid of limiting beliefs. A simplified robot.

A then you get into the community. A lot of stuff in the community will mess you up. A lot of it is good advice but a lot of it makes you worse. Routines and such are another cover up of your true self. Look at it like this. If you are going to use routines, take Improv class, reiterate a line, or do anything like that, do it for the right reason. Learn how to deliver routines correctly not because you want to impress the girl to be with her but so that you learn how to express yourself better.

Now I want to go from the process of meet to close comparing the natural who knows how to express himself and be himself versus the chode. But for this, you’ll have to wait for next month.

Enjoy,

PrettyBoy