1) Ask thought provoking questions

If you don’t want to rely on physical props, find ways to ask thought provoking questions that get her talking in depth about what is really important to her. For example, if you ask a woman what she does for a living, and she says that she is a teacher, the conversational topic doesn’t have to stop there. You can add some depth by asking a question like, “so what is it about teaching that you find most interesting/ fascinating/ compelling”. This will get her her thinking about and sharing deeper, more meaningful aspects of who she is as a person. You can then continue to build rapport by actively listening and contributing your own stories.

2) Lead by sharing stories about yourself that she can relate to

Instead of just asking questions, lead with your own stories or respond to her stories by reciprocating the same kind of communication back to her.

3) Have some good routines that get her talking about herself

When you are first getting started developing your conversational skills with women or people in general it can help to have a solid ice-breaker to spark interest and keep the conversation from turning into normal social or business-like small talk. Some good routines include handwriting analysis, which is easy to do by implement product called the Grapho Deck. Other routines include tarot cards, magic tricks, and many more. Knowing one of two routines gives you something to do with the woman which gets her involved and is interesting and challenging. Depending on the routine, it can take anywhere from 5 – 20 minutes. Used early in the conversation, it will introduce topics and reveal things that can provide hooks for other conversations.

4) Be fun and playful – Act as if you are already longtime friends

Another way is to talk to someone you have known only briefly as if you have already known them for a long time. This can actually build feelings of comfort and familiarity, and it creates an atmosphere where you are not taking her too seriously or trying to be too nice. Many people, men and women, enjoy sarcastic, humorous banter. This is also helpful because some men speak to women they are attracted to in a way that is more serious or because they feel the need to impress them. For these women, playful sarcasm will be appreciated for its authenticity.

4) Show don’t tell – create vivid descriptions that evoke the senses

Finally, use your descriptive language to make an experience real and engaging. For example, if I were to describe my ideal vacation, I could say it was beautiful or I could describe the waves crashing up on the shoreline, the cool breeze cooling off my skin from the hot bright sun, and the smell of the salty air as it was blowing against my skin.

Notice how my description included things that you can see, hear and feel. For most people, one of these senses is more prevalent than the others. However if you don’t want determine which sense is most important, use all of them. It will make your stories and descriptions much more real and vivid and give her something to connect with and share herself. Men are often not very good at using sensory language so this is another way you can distinguish yourself in a good way.

It is true, but not necessarily true that confidence comes from past experience. Past experiences provide evidence and imagery to guide your mind, but they are not necessary per se. Almost everyone who is now very successful at something was once not successful. In fact many of these people who are successful keep trying new things and often hit set backs along the way.

How do you start the process so that you have the past successes that you can use to build upon present success? Basically you have to believe you are capable and deserve to be successful FIRST in order to become a success. You have to think “you’re the shit” at an emotional level in order to become the shit! This is true even before you have any external validation from other people or tangible results that you are in fact successful.

1. Confidence = Success

2. Anything vividly visualized or repeatedly in a strong enough way in side your mind to where it becomes a belief is indistinguishable from what has actually happened when it comes to guiding your subconscious mind.

For that I have two quick examples to illustrate this principle.

In college my friend Chad was a total natural with women, yet he was the same height, body build and similar in looks to myself. I wondered what made his results so different from mine. His attitude and frame of mind was very powerful. When he walked into a room he identified several women to me in the room that wanted to have sex with him. I asked him how he knew. He said he knew because of how they responded to the way he looked at them which was a result of his confidence.

In a great bit of circular reasoning he said women “respond to me positively because I’m confident, I’m confident because women respond positively to me.” I asked, how do you first be confident to get the cycle going. His response: If I’m not feeling it at first I fake it until I make it and get responses as if I were already confident and then I just keep going from there. I fake like I’m confident, so women respond to me as if I’m confident, then I’m confident because women are responding to me like I’m confident.

A second example comes from handwriting analysis, also known as graphology, where a person’s personality is a great tool for creating a snap shot of a person’s personality based on a combination of traits at the time of writing.

One of the biggest characteristics of success is ego strength, measured on the size of the capital letters in a person’s signature and also the overall size of their signature compared to the rest of the their handwriting. Note, ego strength as defined in handwriting analysis is not necessarily vanity or “egotism” in this definition, nor is it internal self-deservedness, it is a measure of your perception of how powerful you are in the world and with other people.

It turns out that pro-athletes and rock stars almost always have a very big ego. I know what a big surprise! However in almost all cases the star athlete or rocker had the big ego first, years before he became famous. In other words he already thought he was a big deal long before he had made it big and gotten all of the external recognition.

In other words, for us to become anything, we have to first act, speak and believe we are going to be successful before we really actually have the evidence that we have achieved it. We have to believe that we’re worth a lot of money when we’re not making a lot of money. We have to believe that we’re champion athletes when we’re not yet champion athletes. We have to believe that we are desirable to women, even when women are not yet throwing themselves at us. When we’re still working and developing our skills to attract the women, we have to see and believe our future success as if it is already an indisputable reality. In a word BELIEVE and succeed.

-Quickkill