Reasons Why People Get and Stay “Stuck” – The Positive Payoff
Why do people stay stuck in spite of a stated desire to change their behaviors to successful ones so they can make progress? Here are a few reasons I have found when my clients keep getting stuck on the same sticking points. These reasons apply not just to getting better in their ability to do well with women, but to all kinds of bad habits or unproductive behaviors and beliefs. Here are a few reasons people stay stuck.
1) Perceived benefits or “payoffs” for not changing. This is when at a subconscious level a person perceives that they have more to gain by staying stuck doing the same behaviors that are ultimately unhealthy and destructive.
Potential “payoffs” include:
- Getting attention by playing the victim. They fear a loss of attention from friends, mentors and others will no longer be around to help them if they are not a victim and are successful at achieving their stated goal. They do not believe that there is an alternative way to meet their emotional needs to be loved and to feel important. This can actually include reinforcement from other guy friends and wingmen that are stuck.
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