Amidst all the learning tools, systems, perspectives, routines, and styles, it is easy to lose site of the pure enjoyment that you can experience by being care free and open to enjoying yourself in whatever situation you’re in (at a bar, hanging in Dupont Circle….with a mixed group, a bunch of dudes, on your own, with one special lady, etc.).

As a matter of practicality for those aspiring to be masters of social dynamics, it is important to consider the various components of who you want to be and how to get there or sustain it. It is also important, however, not to let the minutia of detail bog you down. Learn the techniques; practice them (even if you are a robot at first); think about them, internalize what works for you and filter out that which doesn’t; form affirmations if you like; whatever works for you, but save time for just being yourself (new and improved in many cases). I have seen too often where guys don’t break out of the learning mold and their whole approach becomes contrived and inauthentic. That’s not going to get you very far with most people, but more importantly, it’s tough to enjoy yourself when you spend too much time in your head.

So even when you’re learning, remember to take time out to turn off any conscious game and just enjoy where you’re at and the people you are with and around.

Swagger

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