2. Don’t move too quickly. It could cause a pipi le pew situation (you persue and the other runs away as fast as they can).

3. Don’t talk too much about your ex’s. And if you do, don’t say anything disparaging. Treat it as a new relationship so empty your luggage at the door.

4. Be courteous. Please and thank you go a long way.

5. Be flexible. If you have to cancel, reschedule unless you really didn’t want to go out with the girl to begin with.

6. Guys, I hate to say it, but bring cash and/or plastic to the date. If the woman wants to go dutch great, but expect to pay on the first date atleast.

7. Do open her doors. Hold out your hand if you have a really big car/truck and if she has a skirt and heels, etc. Little things go a long way.

8. Do compliment the other person and show interest.

9. Do listen to your date. Shut up about yourself for a few minutes to hear what they have to say. (I have to remind myself of this one personally).

10. Don’t drink too much. Impaired judgment always follows.

11. Don’t look too hard for faults in the other person. You’ll always find something to sabotage the next relationship. You’ve been hurt before so you don’t want to set yourself up to have it happen again.

12. Don’t make plans too quickly (i.e. don’t start naming your future kids on the second date).

I decided to share my “Path Mindset”. The “Path Mindset” is partially based on Abraham Maslow’s (1954) theory on Self-Actualization. Maslow studies were conducted about the most successful people in the world from past to present and his theory is still widely used by many successful people today. Here is my adaptation aptly named “Path Mindset”:

1. BE WILLING TO CHANGE – Begin with asking yourself “Am I living in a way that is deeply satisfying to me and which truly expresses me?” If not, be prepared to make changes in your life to match your identity. Ask yourself this question often and accept the need for continual change because as we progress through life we grow and change naturally. It is up to you the direction you wish to head.

2. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY – You can become an architect of yourself by acting as if you are personally responsible for every aspect of your life. Shouldering responsibility in this way helps end the habit of blaming others for your own shortcomings. This is not an easy thing to do but it will help you be more fulfilled for your successes.

3. EXAMINE YOUR MOTIVES – Self-discovery involves an element of risk. if most of your behavior is led by a want to play it safe or secure, it may be time to test the limits of your needs and desires. Try to make each decision a choice for growth not a selection controlled by fear, or anxiety.

4. EXPERIENCE DIRECTLY & HONESTLY – Wishful thinking is another barrier of success. You must experience your own trials and tribulations otherwise you can block your growth. Self Actualizers trust in themselves enough to except all kinds of information without distorting it to fit their fears and desires. Try to see yourself as others do. Be willing to admin “I was wrong” or “I failed because of me”. Make sure you do not quit but rather learn from the experience.

5. USE YOUR POSITIVE EXPERIENCES – Successful experiences are temporary moments of self-actualization. Therefore, you might actively repeat actvities that you are good at…ones that cause awe, amazement, exaltation, renewal, humility, reverence, fulfillment, and happiness. This will allow you to get into state easier and will make you enjoy the process of your task.

6. BE PREPARED TO BE DIFFERENT – I feel that everyone has a potential for “greatness” but most fear becoming what they might. As part of personal growth, be willing to trust you impulses and feelings; don’t automatically judge yourself by the standards of others. Accept you uniqueness and love that you are different from anyone else on this planet.

7. GET INVOLVED – I found with few exceptions that self-actualizers tend to have a path in life. For these people, “work” is not done just for your own basic needs but rather to satisfy higher yearnings for truth, beauty, love, brotherhood, and meaning. Make it a goal to personally get involved and committed. Turn your attention to problems outside yourself. This will help your social circle grow, and make you a better person.

8. ASSESS YOUR PROGRESS – Since there is no final point at which we become perfect, it is important to gauge your own progress frequently and renew your efforts consecutively. If you become or feel bored in your approaches challenge yourself to greater heights. Otherwise you have not shouldered responsibility for your own growth. Remember that almost ANY activity can become a chance for self-improvement if it is approached in a creative way.

Some of the advice I give in my seminars and personal coaching as a professional dating coach is quite simple.  I try to break it down to the basics.  Why know all of the fluff, when you need to understand the principals?

The funny thing is most people want the fluff.  They want the quick fix:  “What do I say?” “How to I approach someone?”

The fluff quickly floats away and you are back to square one.  Do the hard stuff.

First: approach more people.  See that cute girl waiting in line for a bagel in the morning?  Go and just say hello.  Ask her what she’s getting.  The main issue is that most people hide themselves.  How is she or he going to ever meet you if you don’t put yourself out there?   A simple hello or talking about your surroundings is sometimes all it takes.

Second: Fail more. You may think you know your limits, but in fact most of my clients have no idea what they are capable of.   Fear is nothing more than you approaching a perceived limitation or a boundary of what you think you know.  What you need to do is move one step beyond it.   High-Five a stranger!  Walk up to that cute guy in the bookstore and ask him if he has cats! Slip someone a note in the coffee shop.  Whatever you do, don’t assume you know the outcome.

We have too many automatic thoughts in our head.  See what we really don’t know and experiment with what you think you really know.

Third: Have an awesome life that you love to live. Love is about connecting.  Live you passions. What better way to connect with people than discussing what really moves you?

If you don’t know you passions, start experimenting with everything.  Try Tango.  Try rock climbing.  Try painting.  Try skeet shooting.  Some things may work.  Some may not.  However, in the end you will see much more of whom you are and what you love.

People in general want to be around awesome people.  They want to be around passionate people.  Find your loves in your life and don’t be afraid to find more.  Be willing to express this. How else are you going to connect with someone else?

Be sure to go after what you want.

If you find that person attractive, be willing to tell them that in some form.  Maybe it’s a glance or something verbal.  Go for it!  You might be surprised on the response.  That person might just like you too!   If it doesn’t work out, learn from it.  Failure is a good thing.

How else can you learn?  Seek truth.   That person is out there looking for you too.

~~

James Norton is the founder of the Awesome Institution.  He has been featured on MSNBC, Washington Post Magazine,RTP, This Week, CitySearch, and many other outlets. Professional Pickup’s website is ProfessionalPickup.com and can be found on twitter @NewAwesomeLife.

I’m CrazyMike and have recently been talking with Speer from SpeerMethod.com, and we are bringing last years incredible Global Pickup Conference back to DC for the second year. If you are ready to “raise the bar” with women in your life, then you are invited to attend the…

The Global Pickup Conference, Washington DC
During The Weekend Of March 23rd – 25th, 2012

“Prepare for Affection from EVERY direction!”

If this sounds like hype, I apologize… but I am more than excited after seeing what awesome quaality events speer has brought in the past.  Consistently delivering high ammounts of value.

We have brought together a world-class faculty of “Adventure Advisors” to open your doors of abundance with sexual satisfaction and fulfillment with women. After 7 years, according to speer, the greatest lesson he’s learned is that…

The BEST Way To Become Better With Women is;
LEARN the TRUTH about ATTRACTION, THEN…
get OUT of the classroom, GO OUT, and LEARN BY DOING.

So, here’s what we’ve got for you:
We Bring You the BEST Guru’s from around the world!

GET YOUR TICKETS BEFORE THEY INCREASE IN COST, EVERY TWO WEEKS THE PRICE INCREASES!  DON’T MISS OUT ON AN INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE, AT AN INCREDIBLE PRICE- GET YOUR TICKET EARLY!

RESERVE YOUR SPOT HERE

Our Speakers Speer Master of the PUA Lifestyle. Rated #1 in The World 2011 & Best PUA LifeStyle Award for Past 5 years.For More Info www.kingsofpickup.com Vince “Hollywood” Kelvin  Global NLP and Self-Empowerment Expert for a Truly Fulfilling Social, Sex, and Love Life!For More Info www.kingsofpickup.com Brad P.  The top pickup artist in the world and was voted #1 Pickup Artist for 2008. For More Info www.bradp.com Ross Jeffries The Founder And Still The Leading Innovator Of The Seduction Community. For More Info www.seduction.com David Wygant The inspiration for the movie “Hitch”. Voted the most natural guru out there. For More Info www.davidwygant.com Erika Awakening Holistic Life Coach who will empower you in all areas of your life: dating, and self-esteem. For More Info www.erikaawakening.com Brother James  His philosophy revolves around getting back to the basics. simplify the process! For More Info www.professionalpickup.com John Keegan  John’s vision of a life that transcends social barriers and personal boundaries. For More Info www.theawakenedlifestyle.com Sasha Daygame Mystery’s first wing and the best day gamer in the world. He is also an authorty on pickup comedy. For More Info www.sashapua.com Hydro The true sources for all of web, and text game. He is a true master of text based game. For More Info www.kingsofpickup.com Maven  Has helped hundreds of guys through his transformation story and coaching. For More Info www.speermethod.com Michael Hurst Author of “Become That Guy” which is a best selling book about dating and self-development. For More Info www.becomethatguy.com

GET YOUR TICKETS BEFORE THEY INCREASE IN COST, EVERY TWO WEEKS THE PRICE INCREASES!  DON’T MISS OUT ON AN INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE, AT AN INCREDIBLE PRICE- GET YOUR TICKET EARLY! 

 What’s included in your ticket:

 When you come to the Global Pickup Conference, you will get the best combination of multi-mentor instruction, you will get one day of instruction, in the field, with the guru’s!

These are the top pick up artists and dating coachs from America, Europe, and Asia!

You will be learning from PUA’s featured in Playboy, Men’s Health, Hustler, and other mainstream media.

Your Ticket to the Conference Includes:

• 2 Days Of In Class Training
• Train a Full Day Infield with the “Faculty”
• A 100 Page Routine Manual (Worth Over $100)
• Participate in the Private VIP Forum
• Viewing access to the VIP Video Vault (with Over 10 Hours of Secret Camera Training Footage From the Field (Worth Over $300)
• Latest breakthroughs from my Free Podcast
• You’ll get a Washington DC Guide, with all the “Hot Spots” to meet the ladys
• A FREE Raffle Ticket, where you’ll get a chance to win thousands of dollars of quality products, services & training throughout the conference.
• We’ll help you find Discounts on Hotels & Food

• And Much More…

Don’t Miss Out on this Special Offer for the Biggest DC Event of The Year.  This is an experience that will improve your life, FOREVER! Sign up NOW, before its too late.  See you there!

RESERVE YOUR SPOT HERE

I am here right now with Sasha Day Game of www.sashadaygame.com who I just finished interviewing for tomorrows lair talk.  Check it out!

sashadaygame_talk

RSVP for Lair talk HERE

See you there!

-CrazyMike

Give away what you got.

It’s not that complicated, really.

But let’s think for a minute; what do a great number of people do instead?

When someone has a great idea, they hoard that idea.  They don’t give it away.  They shelter and protect it.  They keep it to themselves in fear that someone else might take it.  They think, “I better save that idea for later.”  They don’t share their ideas or give them away – they keep them.

Well, let’s think – why would you do that?

The problem isn’t that your ideas aren’t any good.  It’s not even because your ideas aren’t worthy or that you aren’t worthy – because you are.  The problem is your thinking.  You think that if you give one idea away that you won’t come up with more great ideas.  And that fear has got you living in the lake of lack.

Instead, you could start by giving what you got.

Let’s look at Bloggers

Why do a lot of bloggers fail to be successful online?  Bloggers don’t fail because they’re terrible writers (although there are some).  And they don’t fail because they don’t have something valuable to say; they all do – they fail because they stop writing; they stopped giving and providing valuable ideas to others.

To create the abundance mindset, be willing to give.

It’s no different than with money.

Are you Mr El-Cheap-O?

Maybe you’re one of those people who holds onto every penny you’ve got – save money for a rainy day sort of thinking.  I know because I used to be that person.  Maybe you’re really frugal with your money or what I like to call Mr El-Cheap-O.

There’s nothing wrong with being frugal.  What I’m talking about is something completely different.  I’m talking about the hoarders, the real savers – the people who are scared to spend their money.

Just remember that holding onto your money doesn’t bring more of it to you.  It does just the opposite.  Holding onto or hoarding your money (in fear) is evidence enough that you don’t think there is enough.  And when you don’t think you have enough, you’re projecting the scarcity mindset or what my friend Julia calls the “scare-city” mindset.  This mindset is based in fear.

Are you short on time?

Some people are always running out of time – like it was cash or some commodity.  They’re always in a panic to get stuff done.  They’re time vampires.  They literally devour their time and suck the life out of themselves – until there is no time left.

These time vampires live in the lake of lack.  The don’t give away their time because they don’t think there is “enough time” to give.  And when you don’t think there is enough, you’re coming from scarcity or lack.

The way you do anything is the way you do everything.  If there is lack in one area, then there is lack in all areas of your life.  It really comes down to your mindset.

So, how do you break the pattern?

You’ve got to be willing to give from where you are.

Give what you got because giving signals “more-than-enoughness.”  It signals abundance.  When you’re in a state of giving, and giving willingly you’re telling others (and yourself) that there is plenty.  That there is more than enough for everyone.

“You receive through the same doorway through which you give.  The way to receive freely is to give freely. Quality is more important than quantity, since the universe amplifies thought into circumstance.  Begin giving, and let God perfect your giving.” ~ Brad Jensen

Here are 6 ways to give and create the abundance mindset:

• Are you short on time? If that’s the case, give away some of your time. Take time to give to others. You don’t have to dedicate 90% of your day to serving others – that’s not what I’m saying. Just find that balance between giving and receiving. Find an organization or a person that you really love and volunteer some of your time. Give your time away.
• Don’t feel loved? You’ve got to give some before you get some. Give away some hugs. Go out right now and give 5 people you know a big hug. I guarantee right after you do this, you’ll feel great. You’ll feel like a million bucks! Why? Because you feel loved. And you can only feel loved when you give that love to others. Go out right now and hug 5 people!
• Short on Cash? Give some away. Yes, you heard me right. I’m not saying you should sell the farm, far from it. But you may consider giving money to a charity, giving money to a friend who needs it, or even giving money to a panhandler in the street.  Givers gain.
• Are you stuck? Do you want to get unstuck?  Help others first. Think of someone you know that is having a similar problem. And think of a way that you could help them based on what you know.  Write down what you plan to do to help this person and then go out and do it. I’m telling you this works!  When you help others wholeheartedly, help will always come back to you.
• Lacking self-belief? Yup, you know it. You’ve got to give it away! If you lack self-belief, then give away that belief to others.  What do I mean?  Find someone you know who is lacking in self-confidence or in self-belief and give them a boost.  Spend some time with this person and feed their mind.  Tell them how much you believe in them.  Tell them how successful you see them becoming; how you always knew they could make it. Tell them how proud you are of them. Fill their mind with positive ideas.   Instill belief in others and belief will come flowing abundantly to you.
• Short on ideas? This is my favorite. If you’re short on creative ideas, give them away! Give others creative ways to increase business, find a new stimulating career or improve their health.  Give ideas away and ideas will flood right back to you.

With all of these tips, you have to start with where you are.  You can’t give what you don’t have.  Be willing to give what you got from where you are and I promise you – abundance will flow into your life.  You will be actively creating the abundance mindset.

Steve is a Life Coach and the creator of Freedom Education – Mind Power for Your Personal Growth.  He is also the author of the ebook, The Genius Within YOU. You can download his ebook here.

Since it can often be hard to reach someone on the phone, and many now prefer text
messages they are a good way to keep you fresh in her mind so she is more likely to
answer a phone call. It is a good idea to call her phone or have her call your phone when
you first get her number so that she can record it into her phone. Another option is to
send a text right away, often giving her a cute knickname. “Hey glitter girl, I’ll catch you
later.”

Some more advantages of text messages are that they can be be a way to continue to
build upon the momentum you already have and arrange to meet up with her later that
first night if you are still out, especially since neither you nor her will be available to
talk since you are around other people and in loud bars that often have spotty cell phone
reception. Text messages allow her to respond discretely while talking to others and
when she has a moment while out at work, or even on a date with another guy.

Here are some tips when going about text messaging:

1) Be bold and challenging, cocky/ funny, qualify her with your boldness. While
not taking anything away from her, you are the prize, almost arrogant but in a
fun, playful way. Part of this is the assumption that it’s on and she wants you.
Deliberately misinterpret some things she says in either a sexual way or a way
in which she wants you, just like every other woman.

2) Don’t be needy – Give information to get information.
Instead of asking what are you doing? Share something funny about what you
are doing or what she could be doing. “Making dinner from free samples at
Whole Foods, how about you?“

3) Use emoticons with jokes, or a comment that you intend to be funny,
especially those with sarcasm or an ambiguous meaning. While they can be
used the wrong way or overused to where they are obnoxious. LOL, and
other common emoticons can be used to make sure that your comments are
taken as you intend them to be. A misinterpreted text can seriously break
rapport.

4) Utilize what she gives you, repeat it back and build upon it. This establishes
rapport and that you’re listening to her. It also makes it more likely that she
will go along with what you are saying. Everytime she agrees and participates
with what you are saying, feed it back to her and push things farther. For
example she says I love bubble bath massages, so you say, ah, yes and it’s not
necessary for you to feel that warmth spreading through your body now …

5) “Sexting”: Challenge her to be dirtier, Build excitement in a non-creepy way

by liberally using softeners and playful challenges along with sexual dirty
talk.
- Utilize what she says repeat it back and then build upon it.
- Liberally use innuendos and double entendre playfully
The use of specific “softening “words and sexual dirty talk combined with
being playfully challenging allows you to be very sexual without being perceived
as needy or creepy.

Now a few words of caution about text messages:

– It can be used to reinforce and amplify what you have accomplished from in
person meetings and phone meetings in a way that is more casual and requires less of
an investment in time and psychological energy for either you or her.

- I would advise against using text game as a substitute or crutch for conversation
you would not have in phone or in person. While it can be a valuable way of
developing your conversational skills, and it can be used to increase the sexual
tension in a different way than if you were in person, your text messaging still has to
be congruent with who you are, that is your personality needs to be able to match or
back up your words. When setting it up to meet in person talking on the phone is
always a good idea, it skips a lot of back and forth and gives you and them a little
more to read before meeting in person. This is not an absolute rule, I’ve seen things
go just fine without a phone call, but I’ve also seen many miscommunications happen
before too.

- If you have met online definitely talk on the phone first as a way to test and find out
what she is like and build a connection using your voice which will be associated to
you when you talk to her in person. If it is on with her, she might just come over to
your house or you to her place and if it is not on, you have saved yourself time that
could be better spent with a woman who you do have a better connection with.

- Remember with text you are only using your words. Sarcasm and other clever
attempts to meet her can easily be misinterpreted especially if they are not within the
context of the current conversation. You don’t always know her personality is or what
her current state of mind is. You also don’t always get immediate feedback like you
would from a face to face conversation or even over the phone. Momentary facial
expressions, body language and tone of voice are not available for you to read and give
you context to work with. Sometimes a time gap can mean something, other times it just
means she just didn’t get the message yet or is still thinking about her response.

Conclusion and for more information

So those are a few quick tips about text messages. For more examples of how I apply
these and other principles see my field reports as QuickKill on the Attraction Vault or
check out my next available seminar, teleseminar or webinar on text messages where I
review an entire interaction with a woman from first meeting, continued by text and then
to her meeting me back at my place in the middle of the night.

—-

Michael Hurst, (QuickKill on the Attraction Vault forum) is the author of the Book Become That Guy: Become Irresistibly Attractive available on Amazon.com.  He has been a speaker at the PUA World Summit and the Global Pickup Conference. His website is http://www.becomethatguy.com

I’ve been doing some ponderin’ recently….
I was in the gym the other day, and I was just thinking about how good it feels to be seeing results. I noticed also how whenever I’m really pushing myself at the gym, it motivates me to push myself in other areas of my life. I could be feeling a bit lazy or unmotivated – I’ll go to the gym, and start working out. Once I get into it, I like pushing myself as hard as I can. It’s challenging and makes me feel good. What’s the point of being in the gym if I’m not going to give it my 100% ?

Suddenly, I find myself thinking about all the other things I want to do – all the areas I want to / could be pushing myself more in. I start thinking about game concepts and how they could be explained more effectively to my students. I get ideas about how to get closer to, and add value to the lives of the people I care about. I start thinking about what I could do to better my service and expand my business and my career. Sometimes, I even get ideas about some things I could try in bed!

I’ve also noticed, when I’m doing some really good coaching… and there’s a happy student in front of me beaming…. I think “fuck yeah. I rock. I’m good at this. I’m awesome. I’m going to going to push myself harder in the gym – I’m gonna be ripped!”

It seems to me, the more discipline I have in any one aspect of my life, the more it makes me want to push myself harder and go further in all other areas. Success is contagious. Discipline is contagious.
The flip side of this is, lazyness, failure – and “settling” seems to be contagious as well. Makes sense – this is why you see so many people on either side of the divide. So many people out there are ridiculously successful. They don’t just have a successful multi-million dollar business – they’re in good physical condition, they’re happy in their relationships, they have an awesome social life, they don’t settle – they want it all, and they get it all. Why? They’re addicted to success.

And of course – on the flip side this would explain the down and outs. How can someone not have a job, be fat, single… and still live with their mama at age 35?

They’re used to failure. Failure begets failure and success begets success.
Just like discipline. The more you have, the more you want, and the easier it is to maintain.
At any point in your life – you’re either making progress and moving forward, or you’re regressing and moving backwards. There is nothing in between. If you’re doing nothing – you’re wasting time, which means you’re moving backwards. Ask yourself. Are you better today than you were yesterday? Are you overall happier/most successful/more satisfied with life than you were a month ago? If the answer is no, it’s time to make a change!

So, I say to you – if you’re skirting around the idea of pick up, dive in head first! Go CRAZY! Decide on a specific amount of time you are willing to dedicate to this area, and do everything within your power to make the largest possible improvements. Come up with a specific goal, one that you will clearly know once you’ve achieved. Strive for total excellence in just this one part of your life. Become addicted to being amazing. SMASH YOUR GOAL!

You’ll find the better you get in this one area, the more you’ll strive for excellence in other areas of your life. It’s only natural! Step by step, you’ll start to apply the same discipline in other parts of your life that you’ve applied to achieve excellence in your 1st chosen area.

Some of the greatest “Over performers” went from mastery in one area to mastery in another. Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger. He was the #1 Bodybuilder in the world – then he became the #1 actor in the world… and then the governor of California! Josh Waitzkin was a Chess Grand Master by the age of 11 … and after becoming one of the World’s greatest ever chess players he took up Tai Chi. And guess what – he then went on to Become a Tai Chi master and world champion!! Unbelievable? Not really. These people strive for excellence.

Take one thing – focus on mastering just one area of your life – and the next thing you know, this excellence will spread like a kind of happy cancer. One day you’ll wake up, and be a superstar!

BOOM!

See You Guys in DC Shortly!

Unfortunately, when most guys get started attracting women, they discover that they first need to cure approach anxiety. They see a beautiful woman and instantly feel a crippling fear that feels nearly impossible to overcome.

For some, this fear becomes too much and their approach anxiety beats them for good. Others will challenge themselves and approach women after women for weeks or months on end, hoping that it will eliminate Approach Anxiety forever.

But as many of those guys will tell you, even after approaching 100s of girls THE APPROACH ANXIETY IS STILL THERE!

So if simply approaching tons of women isn’t enough to cure approach anxiety, what is?

After overcoming my own fear of approaching women, and helping hundreds of men across the globe do the same, I’ve been fortunate to discover what really works to overcome approach anxiety forever.

One of the biggest reasons most guys continue to get approach anxiety after making numerous approaches is that they only approach women at specific times.

Most guys who want to get good with women will go out at specified times and approach beautiful women. During those times they’ll try to pick up girls with varying degrees of success, but the rest of the time they’ll go about life as if women didn’t even exist!

As soon as their life gets busy, they feel like they don’t have time to approach and they take a break. Once they are ready to start approaching again, they’re devastated to learn that their approach anxiety is back!

There is a HUGE problem with that mindset!

When you only approach at specified times than you’re not actually making it part of who you are. You’re going out and approaching, which is great, but you’re actually limiting yourself to being the guy who only talks to people on Saturdays and Wednesdays from 5 till 8!

What happens when the girl of your dreams passes you by on a Monday?

If you’re like most guys you’ll be feeling “rusty” or “not in the mood” and simply let her pass you by. After all, you only approach on the weekends – if at all.

The guys that get REALLY GOOD with girls don’t just make approaching what they do; they make it who they are.

These are the guys who live with PASSION, they are driven by their desires and live life on their own terms. They don’t go out solely to “pick up” women, they see a beautiful girl and they talk to her, regardless of what time of day it is or where they are.

Men that overcome their approach anxiety might still feel some fear for the first approach or two, but they accept it as something that is natural and push through it anyways.

If you want to truly overcome approach anxiety you must deal with the excuses that stop you from meeting women anywhere. Excuses like:

“I don’t want to meet women today, I’ve got too much on my mind”
“I don’t have time to approach her”
“She’s not THAT hot anyways”
“I’m just not in the mood”
“She looks too busy, I don’t want to interrupt”
Ask yourself, are these ever really valid excuses or are you just giving in to fear?

If you really want to get comfortable in approaching a girl without fear of rejection, and how to cure approach anxiety forever, IGNORE YOUR EXCUSES. If you see a hot girl, go up and talk to her. Surely you have at least a few minutes to find out more about her.

Maybe she is bitchy, maybe you don’t have much time, but if you really want beautiful women in your life, taking those few minutes to talk to girls throughout your day will make a massive difference in your success. And this way, you’ll overcome approach anxiety for good and never feel rusty when your ideal girl walks past.

How to create more opportunities to approach throughout the day:

Hopefully by now you realize how important it is to approach beautiful women, wherever they may be. But how do you create the opportunities while going about your busy day?

Making approaching part of who you are requires that you constantly look for beautiful women while going about your day. Here are a few examples of great places to meet girls:

Grocery Store – While shopping for food, shop for new girls as well. As you’re getting what you need, look for attractive women, see how far into their shopping they are, and talk to them! Say whatever feels right for you but I like making jokes about what’s in their basket. If your really crunched for time, choose the till where you can stand behind a women and talk to her while you’re queuing.
Restaurant – Instead of sitting wherever the hostess seats you, scan the restaurant for any attractive girls and ask to be seated next to them instead. Once there, ask which food is poisonous, talk about what’s on their plate, or say whatever else is on your mind.
Train/Tube – Don’t just sit down in the first carriage available. Run along the train and look for one with an attractive girl to sit next to. If no one comes up, wait till the next stop, get off, and find another carriage to find girls. This way you can get to where you’re going and get a phone number to top it off. A word of caution though – don’t be too forward in these types situations. A more casual approach is more likely to be well received in this type of closed environment.

The Street – Walking down the street is an awesome way to bump into some amazingly beautiful women. Talk to every hot girl you see, run after them if need be and tell them how you feel. Tell her that you’re on your way to something important and then blame her for making you late. One of my favorite things to say is “I’ve got this rule where I talk to the first gorgeous women I see every day – it makes life exciting. Hi, what’s your name?” Why not? So what if you’re going to be late 5 minutes for something? THAT’S JUST AN EXCUSE!

By just making this one habit a part of your life you can cure approach anxiety FOREVER and ultimately end up with a load of new great women in your life.

Three simple rules to maximize your results:

Always leave 30 minutes early. By leaving early, you’ll have time to meet people on the way to wherever you’re going. You’ll wipe out the “I don’t have time” excuse… in fact, by leaving early you’re actually creating time just to approach – subtly forcing yourself to do so when the opportunity arises! This is a key first step to changing your life habits.
Approach the first cute girl you see every day. Whether you see her through a glass window and have to tap on it to get her attention or she’s across a crowded building and you have to burst through people to talk to her – do it! This will get you into a great social mindset that you can carry on throughout the day. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation, just go up and tell her how great she looks. By making this one simple change, I have been on more dates in the last year than most guys have in a lifetime!
3. Play an on running game. I.E hot girl tag. Never worry about not having an opening line again. Simply walk up to every hot girl you see and touch her (on the elbow you pervert!) This will force you to come up with something to say on the spot. Or, if you can’t think of anything in the moment, say “tag you’re it” and explain that you are playing a game of “hot girl tag.” Women love this!

Tell her: Another great game to play is one called “tell her.” Whenever you’re with a friend, if one of you says anything about any woman – and you’re friend says “ “tell her” you HAVE to go and tell the woman exactly what you just said. You can even explain to women the game that you’re playing – they don’t mind! Mix this in with punching your friend every time you spot a cute girl and this will equal meeting a LOT of new people!

These rules and habits may sound a bit daunting at first, but I GUARANTEE YOU that by implementing them into your life, you’ll never have to ask how to approach a girl without fear of rejection again. You’ll be having so much fun and meeting so many women that overcoming approach anxiety will not even cross your radar.

More importantly, you’ll finally be the type of guy that women love. A spontaneous, fun, social guy that goes after what he wants and isn’t stuck in a boring routine.

So go out there and live your life.

Don’t set a time to meet women.

Make meeting women a part of who you are…. You won’t regret it!

Booooom shaka laka!!

Sasha.

Sasha is one of Europe’s top independent daygame instructors … and runs some of the most intense and personalized daygame bootcamps in the world. Just 2 students per weekend! He’s usually in London but travels back and forth between North America and Europe regularly. For information on his programs, check out http://www.sashapua.com/

The word on the street is that Sasha has agreed to be in DC in a few weeks to meet you guys.

Living with it, dangling over your head like the sword of Damocles, day in day out, is enough to send anyone spiraling into a state of anxiety, fear and paralysis.

Like it or not, though, uncertainty is the new normal. We live in a time where the world is in a state of constant, long-term flux. And, that’s not all. If you want to spend your time on the planet not just getting-by, but consistently creating art, experiences, businesses and lives that truly matter, you’ll need to proactively seek out, invite and even deliberately amplify uncertainty. Because the other side of uncertainty is opportunity.

Nothing great was ever created by waiting around for someone to tell you it’s all going to be okay or for perfect information to drop from the sky. Doesn’t happen that way. Great work requires you to act in the face of uncertainty, to live in the question long enough for your true potential to emerge. There is no alternative.

When you find the strength to act in the face of uncertainty, you till the soil of genius.

Problem is, that kills most people. It leads to unease, anxiety, fear and doubt on a level that snuffs out most genuinely meaningful and potentially revolutionary endeavors before they even see the light of day. Not because they wouldn’t have succeeded, but because you never equipped yourself to handle and even harness the emotional energy of the journey.

But, what if it didn’t have to be that way?

What if there was a way to turn the fear, anxiety and self-doubt that rides along with acting in the face of uncertainty–the head-to-toe butterflies–into fuel for brilliance?

Turns out, there is. Your ability to lean into the unknown isn’t so much about luck or genetics, rather it’s something entirely trainable. I’ve spent the past few years interviewing world-class creators across a wide range of fields and pouring over research that spans neuroscience, decision-theory, psychology, creativity and business.

Through this work, a collection of patterns, practices and strategies have emerged that not only turbocharge insight, creativity, innovation and problem-solving, but also help ameliorate so much of the suffering so often associated with the pursuit of any creative quest.

Here are 5 starter-strategies to help get you going:

1. Reframe.

We tell ourselves stories all day long. I’m skinny. I’m fat. I’m talented. I’m stupid. This is genius. This is awful. I will succeed. I will fail. I’m terrified and anxious. I’m confident and proactive. It turns out, the storylines we create around a particular circumstance are far more determinative of success than the circumstance itself. They affect not only our willingness to act, but the quality of our ideas and solutions.

If you create a story that empowers action and innovation, that’s great news. Unfortunately, our brains have a strong bias toward negativity, leading most of us to create stories around circumstances that require action in the face of uncertainty that are more likely to paralyze and stunt creativity than fuel action.

Reframing is a process that asks you to suspend negative storylines, explore if the story you’re telling is the only one and, if not (which is inevitably the case), construct or frame a new storyline that empowers you to experience an uncertain circumstance not as a prime for failure and inaction, but as a signpost for meaning and opportunity.

For example, if you’re disabling storyline is around the risk of failure, instead of just asking “what if I fail?” and creating a doomsday scenario, you also ask “how will I recover, what if I do nothing and what if I succeed?” Then build new stories around those questions.

2. Practice Mindfulness.

Reframing is an immensely powerful tool in the quest to lean into the unknown. But it also requires a certain equanimity; the ability to pull back and see what’s really going on, re-center, then breath into that uncomfortable place long enough for amazing things to bubble up. Over time, a daily mindfulness practice goes a long way toward equipping you to do just that.

Plus, it cultivates the sense of persistent grounding that makes living and acting in a world where there is no new normal far more enjoyable. And it trains you in the practice of dropping thoughts, among those, destructive, limiting-beliefs.

3. Exercise Your Brain.

We’ve all seen the research on exercise and health, weight loss and disease prevention. But, did you know that certain approaches to exercise also have a profound effect on your brain?

Daily cardiovascular exercise, for example, especially with high-intensity bursts mixed in can improve mood, executive function, decision-making and creativity and decrease anxiety and fear. The latest research even reveals the possibility that exercise can grow new brains cells, something that until only a few years ago, was thought to be impossible. It’s also strongly correlated with decreases in anxiety and increases in mood, which are directly connected to improved creativity and problem-solving.

4. Singletask.

Multitasking is out. Turns out this badge of honor from the ’90s is more fiction than fact. Our brains don’t multitask, they just rapidly switch between tasks, sometimes fast enough for us to believe we’re doing many things at once. Problem is, every time we switch, there is a “ramping cost” in your brain, it takes anywhere from a few second to 15 minutes for your brain to fully re-engage. This makes you feel insanely busy, but simultaneously craters productivity, creativity and increases feelings of anxiety and stress.

Multitasking also requires you to hold a lot of information in your working memory, which is controlled by a part of the brain known as the prefrontal cortex (PFC). But the PFC is also responsible for will-power, and for keeping fear and anxiety in check. Multitasking increases the “cognitive load” on the PFC, overwhelming it and effectively killing it’s ability to keep fear, anxiety and the taunt of distraction at bay.

Simple solution–just say no. Do one thing at a time in intense, short bursts.

5. Get Lean.

Instead of creating in a vacuum, explore the possibility of bringing a “lean” or “agile” approach to your creative process. Focus on maximum learning, create the simplest version of your idea possible, then bring a select group of those who’d potentially enjoy it into the process earlier in name of soliciting and integrating input into the next iteration. This not only minimizes waste, it changes the psychology of creation by adding more certainty earlier in the game and encouraging consistent, incremental action.

These five strategies and practices can change the way you experience the creative process in a profound way. They’ll not only allow you to tap a reservoir of previously hidden creativity, they’ll also allow you to experience any creative endeavor with a far deeper sense of equanimity and joy.