“I used to say of him (Napoleon) that his presence on the field made the difference of 40,000 men.”
- Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Have you ever been in a spot and something about a certain person in the room drew you in and completely captivated you? Was it the level of that person’s personal engagement in the scenario and conversations around them, or perhaps the way they articulated themselves that screamed out to you?
So, what is presence?
Researchers on this topic have found that certain people have been found to project out certain qualities to their audience. Some of these qualities have included candor, clarity, openness, passion, poise, self-confidence, and warmth.
But, what do these words mean? And how can we use them to become that person who exudes presence?
To simplify this process, we can break these words down even further and place them into buckets that will be easier to manage.
Candor and Openness demonstrates how congruent you are with your true self. In other words, you don’t hold back; you are not affected by alcohol; you are free of your limiting beliefs; you are free of your environmental influence; you are present in who you are and are living the moment before you; you are engaged with everything around you, and yet are still yourself; you aren’t the past, you aren’t the future. To put it simply, you are just you – the most natural you that can exist at this very moment.
Clarity and Poise comes naturally, when you are comfortable with who you are and what you were born of. You don’t throw on a feathered hat because you want to become someone else. You throw on a feathered hat because it is what you naturally want to wear. You speak in a way that is congruent with what you feel. In summary, your actions, thoughts, feelings, body language, and voice tonality, matches your present state.
Passion and Warmth can be characterized as Charisma, but, it’s really much more simple that this. Charisma is merely an expression of how you feel about yourself, on the inside. Believe it or not, you are in control of how you feel. If you feel passion, and learn how to create these feelings inside of you, without external influence, you will project that passion outwards to others. Women pick up on these feelings much more easily than men do. They are more attuned with the feelings projected around them, even the feelings of others. If you feel like a creep; guess what she’s going to feel? On the other hand, if you feel charismatic, happy, fascinated, and excited; guess what she’s going to feel?
Self-Confidence is defined by Merriam-Webster as being “a feeling of consciousness of one’s powers…” In addition, it is derived from the Latin word Con-fidere. Con meaning “with” and Fidere meaning “Faith.” In other words, Confidence simply means, to live “with Faith,” and according to Merriam, with “Consciousness,” or to put it simply, to live with that part of you, that is greater than just your physical presence. And confidence is definitely not ego. The minute ego enters the picture, guess what happens to Faith and Consciousness? You guessed it – it dissipates and leaves . . . with the grace of her hips, legs, and step, as she just walked away from your conversation.
So, who can exude the presence that these characteristics describe?
Presence can be exuded by anyone, and it is exuded in the same proportion to how closely you are aligned to your own internal compass. This internal compass is all about your value system. If you value success, you will project it outwards; if you value sexuality, you will project it outwards; if you value peace, you will project peace to others. The design is not in the values you choose, but rather, in how closely they are in harmony with your path, and who you truly are.
Until next time, I’ll leave you with this story…
Jim Castle was tired when he boarded his plane in Cincinnati, Ohio, that night in 1981. The 45-year-old management consultant had put on a week-long series of business meetings and seminars, and now he sank gracefully into his seat ready for the flight home to Kansas City.
As more passengers entered, the place hummed with conversation, mixed with the sound of bags being stowed.
Then, suddenly, people fell silent.
The quite moved slowly up the aisle like an invisible wake behind a boat.
Jim craned his head to see what was happening, and his mouth dropped open. Walking up the aisle were two nuns clad in simple white habits bordered in blue. He recognized the familiar face of one at once, the wrinkled skin, the eyes warmly intent. This was a face he’d seen in newscasts and on the cover of TIME. The two nuns halted, and Jim realized that his seat companion was going to be Mother Teresa!
-Author Unknown
Now, that’s presence!
Dare
