I was at the mall coaching a client the other day when he asked me a question.  His question was about where to stand when you are talking to a girl. This particular client was very technical minded and wanted to know all the little details. Now, I’m a proponent of experiential learning. Often in this scenario, I find that the student is a ‘book learner’ type, who wants to know everything without actually DOING anything. In that case, I might say: “You go out and try it and you will figure out what works for you.” That is because the only real way to get a feel for something is to do it over and over again. I still feel that this is often the case.

In this instance I made an exception because he seemed to be genuinely interested in this, AND was willing to approach on his own. So I told him my answer, and as I was telling him, I hit upon a new realization. The new realization is what I want to talk about in this article.

Picture you are at the mall. A cute girl is walking towards you. You are about 10 feet away when you start to deliver your line. You make strong eye contact and she starts to slow down. All of a sudden, she has moved past you slightly and now you are almost square to each other. She is leaning away, still half-facing the direction she was going. You are facing her, matching her level of investment. Typically this would look like you are both standing at a diagonal angle towards each other. Your level of eye contact is still strong. You are delivering your opener and she is answering in turn.
If she has stayed this long, and is reciprocating eye contact (this is key) then the game is on. She is interested. My student’s first question was, where should you be positioned in relation to the girl? Secondly, what should you do when you’re in a crowed mall hallway, and people are rushing past?

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