Real love is the love that sometimes arises after sensual pleasure: if it does, it is immortal; the other kind inevitably goes stale, for it lies in mere fantasy – Giacomo Casanova
Yes, it can. Although if you were to ask most men and women if this is possible they would say no. However I have asked many married couples how their relationships started and in a moment of candor (and the guise of doing research for this book) many of them did say it turned sexual either the first night or within the first few times they saw each other. Here are a few insights from some of my experiences where sex on the first night ended up turning into a relationship that lasted 6 months or longer. My experience seems to be someone rare in that ALL of my longer term relationships over a span of 12 years started with sex on the first night. How is this possible?
•In addition to being compatible in terms of sex drive and intensity, we also had a lot in common that we could talk about. This became apparent either while talking for a few hours before it became physical, or in the wee hours of the morning or the next day after hooking up purely based on looks and lust.
•In each case it was clear that neither one of us was looking for an exclusive relationship or emotional intimacy. The sex was deliberate, but the relationship happened accidentally without an agenda because we liked each other. In some cases I verbally said I was not looking for one, in other cases she did. However you can generally rest assured that when a woman goes home with you within an hour of meeting you, that she has not had enough time to screen you for her relationship type.
•On the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator (MBTI) all except for one were Thinkers (Ts) instead of Feelers (Fs). They had a belief that they could have sex and remain emotionally detached at least for a one-night stand or short-term fling.
•All of them considered themselves to be empowered, independent-minded women. Sex was considered an expression of desire where they were the aggressor and were seducing at least as much as they were being seduced.
•I would advise however that if you do decide that you have feelings for her that are more than just sexual, that you move very slowly in terms of how you express them. She needs time and space to develop those feelings herself without feeling pressured or that she is losing control.
•However just because you hit it off sexually and can have a great conversation, be cautious that you also continue to qualify and see that she really has the qualities that you are looking for in a woman. These qualities might include honest and open communication, intelligence and emotional stability. I recommend that you look for red flags and personality traits that would not make for a healthy relationship. I recommend handwriting analysis as a pretty accurate way to look for some of the so called “hell traits” including pathological liar, self-sabotage, and low self-esteem.
-Quickkill
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