As I promised last month, now I want to go from the process of meet to close comparing the natural who knows how to express himself and be himself versus the chode.
Opening
The natural sees a beautiful woman. He wants to talk to her and feels that attraction. Because this is what he desires to do, he does it. It is being himself. It is a form of expression.
The chode sees her and immediately approach anxiety hits. He is not being himself. He wants to talk to her but his limiting beliefs and society have programmed him to not talk to her. He is society’s robot and will not talk to her.
Mid Game
The natural talks to a woman about everything. He has no filter. He talks about sex, relationships, and other stuff that is considered taboo. This is because these are the topics that he wants to talk about and that is how he expresses himself. He tells her why he likes her – not as a tactic of qualification but because he is being genuine and sincere. He is in a state of mind of flow. Everything just comes out naturally.
The chode is in his head. He is thinking what he should say next. This is not being himself.
Emotional Connection
The natural builds an emotional connection because he is genuinely interested in the girl. He is being himself. He wants to know more about the girl. There are no routines. There are no tactics. He loves that feeling of getting close to the girl. And if he does not feel that emotional connection then he does not chase it. He does not try to build a fake emotional connection so that he can sleep with the girl. He just has fun with the girl (attraction) and being with her happens naturally anyways.
Closing Game
Being yourself is closing. How? Because you want to close. It is being you to close. You love sex. You want to be with the girl so you close. You are not scared of the rejection. You put yourself out there because that is you.
Am I myself? Not always. But I am better at expressing who I am to women at least than probably 95% of people out there. I still get in my head often. I still have approach anxiety occasionally. I still get scared to be the leader and actually go for the close. The thing is you do not have to achieve perfection. You just have to do it better than the other guys out there and you have to do it just good enough to get the girl.
Another thing is I tell people that if they see me out there they won’t be impressed. This one very highly regarded instructor PUA once told me after he watched me for a whole day, “to say the least, after reading all those reports, I wasn’t impressed.” Think about it. Can you find the paradox in that statement? I do not say anything that is impressive at all. I’m just myself. I’m a normal dude that expresses his desires. That is where I get the closing mentality from. I desire to be with a girl and that is me, so when it comes time for it I am going to voice it. I don’t use any impressive routines or anything. But that is why I get it. Because my game is not impressive. It is me.
So the next time someone tells you “just be yourself,” don’t write it off as something that is weak. Really think about it beyond the surface level meaning. It’s true.
Enjoy,
PrettyBoy
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