My Story

Hello All,

Thank you all for the great turn out at the last global pick up conference in Washington D.C. I had a great time going back to D.C. I haven’t been there since I was about 12. It was a little different being able to go out, and naturally I had fun. If you’re not having fun this is all a chore, and no one likes chores.  I know I don’t. Yet there was a time when I didn’t have fun.  That is the story I am going to tell you today.

 No better place to begin than at the beginning. The beginning for me was middle school. That’s about the time I really started to like girls. I mean I always had girls as friends from kindergarden up.  Yet at middle school I started to think more about kissing and doing more with my girl friends. I started experimenting on how to do this.  Being nice to them was an early advice from my parents and brother. That worked like a charm. I had more girls who where friends but no girl friends.  Not what I wanted. But I always got another chance being an army brat I moved around almost every year a new school. A chance to reinvent myself, I tried notes to girls, emails, asking out, walking girls home buying girls flowers, driving them home. Same result more girls who were friends but no girl friends. This continued all the way to my junior year. When all my hard work (as I thought of it at the time) paid off, I drove a girl home and she gave me a kiss for giving her a ride home. I was 17 and happy as can be. I finally got my first kiss.  I thought I was going to be doing awesome my senior year since I was invited to 3 proms that year… as a friend. Yes… nothing happened, not even a kiss. [Read more...]

High Value Men Have Standards

Coaching clients often ask me what the differences are between free and pay dating sites (other than money).

I’ve had success (FCs) with various sites and I’ve noticed a pattern. The lower the “barrier to entry,” the less women are generally invested. By barrier to entry, I mean…the investment in money, time, or effort that is needed to be reasonably successful on  a particular site.  As is, women have a much easier time at internet dating, because men do most of the approaching/contacting - women can pick and choose from various people contacting them.
On a lower-end (lower barrier to entry) site women may be using using no or lower quality photos, having incomplete or poorly written profiles, or not following through with the process. HB quality (physical and otherwise) seems to go up as barrier to entry (and investment) does.

Wingmanship

A lot has been written over the years about how to approach women and how to close them, but surprisingly little has been written about how to properly wing. This is really a shame because winging is a crucial skill you’ll need to know if you’re going out with other people with the intended goal of meeting and building a connection with members of the opposite sex. Put simply, a good wing can be the difference between a sure thing and going home alone. This article is dedicated to the fundamentals of being a good wing so that everyone makes it home safely and successfully.
 
The basics….

How To Take Advice

If you haven’t noticed, there is a ton of contradictory advice floating around the internet and pick-up forums. Aspiring PUAs have to know what advice to take and what not to take. One of the things that separates the guys that get good from the guys that never get good is the way they take advice. In fact, I believe the level of a person’s development can be gauged directly by how they take advice. Taking and using advice is more like an art than a science.

The wrong way to take advice

Many people – and we’re talking about PUAs here – do this when they take advice. They read a new article about how to do something – a new technique, opener, etc. Then they get really excited about it and run to the mall or bar to try it out. Then guess what? It doesn’t work. They get discouraged and give up on that tactic, and wait until a better one comes along. They keep looking for the one trick or system that will get them to the next level. It is a never ending futile quest.

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Top Ten Excuses That Say You Are Afraid

I am hater of excuses.  I hate them with a passion.  And I think you should hate them too.  They inhibit us from expressing ourselves.   They inhibit us from taking a chance.  They keep us from seeking opportunities.  They keep us from our fullest potential.

Let’s take the top ten excuses for not approaching women off the table, right here, right now, and vow never, ever to utter these words again. 

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Goal Setting

Setting goals is an effective method of achieving success in life, whether it be short-term or over the long-term. There are 5 key aspects to creating goals:

1. Be specific

Write down goals in specific detail so you can clearly see what you plan to attain and how to achieve it. State exactly what you want and how you plan to get the results you seek, such as who can help and what training you may require.

a. What? What do you want to accomplish (short & long term)?
b. Where? Identify locations & venues you will do the activities at. 
c. When? Establish time frames for short & long term goals. What is your target date?
d. Who? Who can help you reach your goals? Do you seek mentorship, expert advice, or wings to help you in field?

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To Become Successful, First Believe That You Already Are A Success

A large part of success with women is a firm belief that you can and will get what you want. I’ve been asked by guys, how do I get that strong frame of mind where I just know and expect that a woman’s going to be attracted to me and wants to have sex with me? If you have had positive experiences with women, then it would be easy to say that your present success is built upon your past success. How do I get those successes so I can then be confident.

It is true, but not necessarily true that confidence comes from past experience. Past experiences provide evidence and imagery to guide your mind, but they are not necessary per se. Almost everyone who is now very successful at something was once not successful. In fact many of these people who are successful keep trying new things and often hit set backs along the way.

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The Six Elements of a Strong Dating Profile

For a while now I’ve been working on finding the essential elements that you must include in an online profile. After reading hundreds of books on psychology, philosophy and attraction, I’ve come up with these six fundamentals. I strongly believe they need to be conveyed properly if you’re going to get a date. You should be able to look at your profile and see if they’re there. They’re in no particular order.

1.Mystery/Mystique

A woman who reads your profile will have to have a STRONG desire to know more about you. That means you’ll have to convey enough to get her interested, but not so much that she can guess who you are. It’s a delicate balance and maybe the most difficult to do well. If she opens you by asking questions, you know you’ve done it right.

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Always Be Strategic

Never be robotic. Always be strategic. Like a good football coach, constantly think several plays ahead. That starts with preparation for the date itself. Have a game plan in mind w/your transition points and minimal escalation targets outlined. Of course, you’ve set favorable logistics, meeting at your place, her place or close by. From there, realize in advance that you need to get her from point A to points B, C, D and E.

It’s hard to lead if you don’t know where you’re going. Yes, it’s very important to be micro-focused and in the moment, but always be aware of the big picture before the night slips away. So if you need to move her from the venue to your place, seed the ASD in advance. And if at all possible, have her meet at your place first with minimal kino and drinks to establish comfort/familiarity, making it far easier to pull her later in the evening. If already at your place, know how you’re going to fractionate and escalate. Perhaps you’ll start off by exciting her w/a game of pool. Kino escalate w/some dancing. Then cuddle together w/a movie, under a blanket, and maybe on the floor or bed. From there, it’s usually very “on”. Add a sensual massage, if needed. Figure out your best closing move and build toward it during the course of the evening. BUT constantly calibrate and always be ready to change direction on the fly.
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