One thing I have run across over the years as webmaster and moderator for Attraction Vault is that many guys use the notion that they have “standards” as an excuse to hide their fears. This isn’t to say that you should settle and be with someone who you are not attracted to. However I have noticed that sometimes the same guys who say they have “standards” aren’t even talking to any women at all. This reminds me of a great quote by Timothy Ferris, author of the Four Hour Work Week.
For example at one of our recent events I was asked why I was I making an effort to talk to men as well as women. The guy was talking to was there with there with his sister in law and two other attractive women. We were all talking and then he pulled me aside and told me that the all of the women were single and I should try to pick them up. Also when I mentioned that I danced salsa he told that his sister in law also danced salsa, which gave me a great lead in to talk to her. Then the same guy brought me together with her and told her to dance with me.
The moral of the story if I only focused on talking to women I would have completely missed out on some seriously great opportunities.
Are you using a woman’s looks to support your Ego
Another aspect of the “standards” concept is that some men are looking for the presence of hot women to add to their feelings of self worth and their image in other people’s eyes. The hidden trap is that you are associating her good looks as an indicator that she is a better judge of your value as a person. Who she is as a person is NOT based on her looks. She can be totally gorgeous on the outside, but have terrible taste in men. On the flip side, a woman that may not entirely catch your eye at first, may turn out to be a really cool chick. Maybe her lack of catching your eye at first is because she didn’t spend 6 hours trying to look pretty, but she cleans up well.
A woman is a complete person
This leads me to my next point, sometimes you really end up liking someone that you wouldn’t have thought was your type, once you get to know her. Have you ever started talking to a woman before and the more you talked to her, the more you started to notice the attractive qualities about her. Maybe she even started to appear more physically attractive as you began to notice the other attractive qualities about her as a person. However if you only talked to women that you thought were your type you might have missed out on some women that you would have had great experiences with.
Stay tuned for part 2 next month for more on this.
- CrazyMike
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