Learning the social arts exposes one to a seemingly endless barrage of concepts, techniques and paradigms. There’s endless discussion on opening, building attraction, comfort, and seduction. There’s openers, stacks, negs, push-pull, cocky/funny, pebbles, projections, kino, NLP, microloops, IOIs, IODs, shit tests, social proof, alpha behavior, bitch shields and LMR. It’s easy to get lost in this and forget what all of this stuff is ultimately designed to do. It’s easy to forget, in the simplest terms, what we’re learning to do:
We’re learning to present ourselves as attractive and desirable men.
Maybe you’ve learned some incredible skills and can build attraction out of thin air. If that attractive person that you’ve learned to project is merely a facade, then the attraction isn’t real. And when she finds out it isn’t real, the attraction will be gone, and for good reason. What you’ve been projecting is not genuine.
The way to avoid this is to think big picture. Have a life that isn’t entirely about pickup (I’ll write more about the distinction between the “pickup you” and the “non-pickup you” in the future; the answer is not what you might think). Have friends, hobbies, a career. Have girls in your life that are strictly platonic. Have something in your life that you’re passionate about. You don’t have to have every aspect of your life together at the moment, but you need to have a vision for your life and display the qualities necessary to make it believable you’ll be able to achieve that vision.
And do these things not just so you’ll have a lifestyle that’s attractive to women, but so that you’ll be a more complete, more rewarded, more fulfilled person. The fact that this will bring more women into your life will be a bonus. Regardless of the type of relationship you want to have, women want to know that the man they’re with is of high value. Yes, that means even if they’re not interested in a long term relationship, they still want to know they’re with someone who’s worthwhile, genuine, and has their life together. I’m not speaking theoretically. I’ve talked to enough women to know this is true. I’ve talked with a number of girls who have walked out on “just sex” arrangements with guys because the guy didn’t have his life together.
How do you know if you’re thinking big picture? Ask yourself this question. Can you talk for hours with other PUAs about pickup, but find you run out of things to say in set? If the answer is yes, then you’re not thinking big picture. You don’t need more material, you don’t need to work on your “conversation game.” You need to develop the kind of life that will enrich you with experiences that you can draw upon. If you genuinely are an interesting and attractive person, then all you’ll need to learn is how to convey that. And that will make your game much more solid.
~ Magellan
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