As I promised last month, now I want to go from the process of meet to close comparing the natural who knows how to express himself and be himself versus the chode.

Opening

The natural sees a beautiful woman. He wants to talk to her and feels that attraction. Because this is what he desires to do, he does it. It is being himself. It is a form of expression.

The chode sees her and immediately approach anxiety hits. He is not being himself. He wants to talk to her but his limiting beliefs and society have programmed him to not talk to her. He is society’s robot and will not talk to her.

Mid Game

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“I used to say of him (Napoleon) that his presence on the field made the difference of 40,000 men.”
- Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington

Have you ever been in a spot and something about a certain person in the room drew you in and completely captivated you? Was it the level of that person’s personal engagement in the scenario and conversations around them, or perhaps the way they articulated themselves that screamed out to you?

So, what is presence?

Researchers on this topic have found that certain people have been found to project out certain qualities to their audience. Some of these qualities have included candor, clarity, openness, passion, poise, self-confidence, and warmth.

But, what do these words mean? And how can we use them to become that person who exudes presence?

To simplify this process, we can break these words down even further and place them into buckets that will be easier to manage.

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Real love is the love that sometimes arises after sensual pleasure: if it does, it is immortal; the other kind inevitably goes stale, for it lies in mere fantasy – Giacomo Casanova

Yes, it can. Although if you were to ask most men and women if this is possible they would say no. However I have asked many married couples how their relationships started and in a moment of candor (and the guise of doing research for this book) many of them did say it turned sexual either the first night or within the first few times they saw each other. Here are a few insights from some of my experiences where sex on the first night ended up turning into a relationship that lasted 6 months or longer. My experience seems to be someone rare in that ALL of my longer term relationships over a span of 12 years started with sex on the first night. How is this possible? More»